The 20 Best Places to Cry in Cleveland

By on Fri, Mar 9, 2018 at 10:47 am

Emotions don't follow a schedule. Sometimes, you need a good cry in the middle of the day, away from your bed, away from your bathroom floor. We found the best spots in the city for a good public sob that won't cause too many passersby to question your motives.

Emotions don't follow a schedule. Sometimes, you need a good cry in the middle of the day, away from your bed, away from your bathroom floor. We found the best spots in Cleveland for a good public sob that won't cause too many passersby to question your motives.

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The Haserot Angel 12316 Euclid Ave. The Haserot Angel is impossibly creepy and has black tears eternally streaming down its face. And if you’re the kind of person that’s emotionally unstable enough to be wandering the cemetery in the middle of the day, you probably are, too. Strength in numbers, people. Photo via Angel of Death Victorious/Wikimedia

The Haserot Angel

12316 Euclid Ave.

The Haserot Angel is impossibly creepy and has black tears eternally streaming down its face. And if you’re the kind of person that’s emotionally unstable enough to be wandering the cemetery in the middle of the day, you probably are, too. Strength in numbers, people.

Photo via Angel of Death Victorious/Wikimedia
Cleveland Hopkins International Airport 5300 Riverside Dr. The airport is already a pretty high stress environment so no one will really blame you for shedding a few tears in line at security. Or you could wander through departures and pretend you just had a heavy emotional goodbye. No one will be able to tell the difference. Tears are tears. Photo via Lily Monster/Flickr

Cleveland Hopkins International Airport

5300 Riverside Dr.

The airport is already a pretty high stress environment so no one will really blame you for shedding a few tears in line at security. Or you could wander through departures and pretend you just had a heavy emotional goodbye. No one will be able to tell the difference. Tears are tears.

Photo via Lily Monster/Flickr
The Steelyard Walmart 3400 Steelyard Dr. The Steelyard Walmart has been bestowed the title of Worst Walmart in America on multiple occasions for the fact that it's in a constant state of disarray and for its complete inability to make good choices and live up to its potential. If this sounds familiar, head on over and let it out in literally any aisle. Photo via Scene Archives

The Steelyard Walmart

3400 Steelyard Dr.

The Steelyard Walmart has been bestowed the title of Worst Walmart in America on multiple occasions for the fact that it's in a constant state of disarray and for its complete inability to make good choices and live up to its potential. If this sounds familiar, head on over and let it out in literally any aisle.

Photo via Scene Archives
The Browns’ end zone FirstEnergy Stadium, 100 Alfred Lerner Way Heavy crying takes a lot of effort and focus and can impede mobility. This requires a spot without a lot of foot traffic. The Browns’ end zone is a good option. They won’t be using it. Photo via Scene Archives

The Browns’ end zone

FirstEnergy Stadium, 100 Alfred Lerner Way

Heavy crying takes a lot of effort and focus and can impede mobility. This requires a spot without a lot of foot traffic. The Browns’ end zone is a good option. They won’t be using it.

Photo via Scene Archives
Cedar Lee Theatre 2163 Lee Road The indie and foreign movies that normally play at Cedar Lee are bleak as hell, so crying and this theater seems as natural a pairing as popcorn and melted butter. If you’re still feeling self conscious even under the cover of (bigger cineplex-style) movie theater darkness, pick a 3D film. Those bulky glasses were basically made for public bawling. Photo via paulwbarnard/Instagram

Cedar Lee Theatre

2163 Lee Road

The indie and foreign movies that normally play at Cedar Lee are bleak as hell, so crying and this theater seems as natural a pairing as popcorn and melted butter. If you’re still feeling self conscious even under the cover of (bigger cineplex-style) movie theater darkness, pick a 3D film. Those bulky glasses were basically made for public bawling.

Photo via paulwbarnard/Instagram
Beachland Ballroom 15711 Waterloo Rd. Beachland tends to traffic in the maudlin music of the university station (to borrow the words of pop culture poet laureate Cher Horowitz). So cradle a beer, sway a little and your cathartic sobs will fit right in. Photo via micadew/Flickr

Beachland Ballroom

15711 Waterloo Rd.

Beachland tends to traffic in the maudlin music of the university station (to borrow the words of pop culture poet laureate Cher Horowitz). So cradle a beer, sway a little and your cathartic sobs will fit right in.

Photo via micadew/Flickr
CTOWN Crossfit 1678 Leonard St. Here you’ll sweat so much you (and everyone else) won’t even be able to tell you’re crying anymore. Photo via Bobahar/Instagram

CTOWN Crossfit

1678 Leonard St.

Here you’ll sweat so much you (and everyone else) won’t even be able to tell you’re crying anymore.

Photo via Bobahar/Instagram
Buying a gyro at West Side Market 1979 W. 25th St. Therapy is expensive, so here’s a pro tip. Get into the invariably endless line at Steve Gyro’s, wait till you’re near the front of the queue to start crying and then make everyone around you listen while you vent. They’ll already have pitched so much time waiting that they have no choice but to listen to you. Photo via lornstar/Instagram

Buying a gyro at West Side Market

1979 W. 25th St.

Therapy is expensive, so here’s a pro tip. Get into the invariably endless line at Steve Gyro’s, wait till you’re near the front of the queue to start crying and then make everyone around you listen while you vent. They’ll already have pitched so much time waiting that they have no choice but to listen to you.

Photo via lornstar/Instagram
The RTA Various stops throughout the city The RTA may have its issues, but at least its riders follow the universal laws of public transportation: avoid eye contact with anyone under absolutely every circumstance. If you start crying on public transportation, it is an unspoken rule that everyone just pretends not to notice you. Photo via TheeErin/Flicker

The RTA

Various stops throughout the city

The RTA may have its issues, but at least its riders follow the universal laws of public transportation: avoid eye contact with anyone under absolutely every circumstance. If you start crying on public transportation, it is an unspoken rule that everyone just pretends not to notice you.

Photo via TheeErin/Flicker
Tom Johnson’s staute Public Square, W. Superior Ave & Ontario St. Tom Johnson is a shoulder to cry on. Tom Johnson is willing to listen to your problems. Tom Johnson is like Han Solo frozen in carbonite and isn’t going anywhere. Tom Johnson is here for you. Photo via Tom L. Johnson/Wikipedia

Tom Johnson’s staute

Public Square, W. Superior Ave & Ontario St.

Tom Johnson is a shoulder to cry on. Tom Johnson is willing to listen to your problems. Tom Johnson is like Han Solo frozen in carbonite and isn’t going anywhere. Tom Johnson is here for you.

Photo via Tom L. Johnson/Wikipedia
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