The 20 Most WTF Cleveland News Stories Of 2017, So Far

“Pet Boa Constrictor Nearly Strangles Its Ohio Owner, Firefighters Cut Off Snake’s Head”

July 28
Police were forced to decapitate a boa constrictor in Sheffield Lake, after the pet wrapped itself around its owner and started to bite her face. While the boa’s death is an unfortunate loss for the community, its owner can take solace in her 10 other pet snakes (nine pythons, one boa constrictor.)

Photo via Wikipedia

“Two Kent State Students Finally Meet on TV This Morning, After Years of Tinder Messaging”

July 25
Modern romance. When Kent State student Josh Avsec tweeted some screenshots of Tinder messages between he and fellow Kent student Michelle Arendas, he probably didn’t expect thousands of likes and retweets — or finally meeting Arendas while the nation watched on “Good Morning America.”

Photo via mich_arend /Instagram

“Man Threatens to Shoot Someone for Spitting in His Sandwich”

July 26
A South Euclid Steak and Shake customer had neither a gun nor evidence that anyone had spit in his sandwich, but that didn’t stop him from threatening to shoot someone. The 20-year-old, who was charged with aggravated menacing, later said he hadn’t made any comments.

Photo via steaknshake /Instagram

"Drunk Woman With Beautiful Eyelashes Arrested"

June 1
Not only is drunk driving illegal and incredibly dangerous, it can also skew your priorities. When a young woman driving from the Crystal Keg was pulled over in June, she interrupted her failed sobriety test to ask whether she had “beautiful eyelashes."

Photo via mu_bydana /Instagram

“Why One University of Akron Student Longboards Around Campus Dressed Like Jesus”

Feb. 22
If you’ve ever spotted a Christ-like figure longboarding around the University of Akron, you (probably) weren’t hallucinating. Chances are it was Joe Gerin, or “Longboard Jesus,” who put his skateboarding skills and distinctive facial hair to good use earlier this year.

Photo via jmgerin /Instagram

“Avon Man Who Stole 500 Yard Signs Receives Jail Time, Forced to Apologize”

July 13
We’ve all seen signs in our neighborhood that we haven’t been fans of (especially during the past election cycle), but most of us don’t steal one — or 500. John Hoelzl, 62,however, is not most of us, and was caught with the $5000 worth of signs neatly stacked and sorted at his home. His reasoning? They were distracting to drivers, and he thought he might use them someday.

Photo via Avon Lake Police

“Teens Create Sudsy Slide on Tanglewood Golf Course”

July 13
Six boys reportedly picked the wrong place to set up a slip and slide. The manager of National Tanglewood Golf Club declared it property damage when he discovered a damaged sixth hole and soapy residue left behind by the boogie-boarding perpetrators last month.

Photo via matt_mcvicker /Instagram

“There’s an Instagram Account Devoted to Piss Jugs in Akron”

April 27
The next time you see a water bottle, soda can or jug of piss on the side of the road, you know where to submit a photo of it. While this account is a departure from typical Instagram fare of FitTea and sugary hair vitamins, they’ve amassed over 600 followers. As the account's owner told Scene, “we all need hobbies.”

Photo via akrontruckerbombs /Instagram

"Khloe Kardashian Loves ‘Domestic Family Life’ in Cleveland"

Feb. 16
Not even the Kardashians are immune to the charms of Cleveland, as evidenced by Khloe professing her love for the city in February. Would she be here if she wasn't dating Cavs player Tristan Thompson? Probably not, but that's OK.

Photo via khloekardashian /Instagram

“Goat Knocks Down, Injures Woman”

Aug. 4
Cleveland suburbs are teeming with all kinds of animals, both the tamed and forest-dwelling variety. But if you ever come across a goat, approach it with caution; you don’t want to end up in the hospital like the 55-year-old woman who obtained a knee injury from an encounter with one of the animals.

Photo via goatsofanarchy /Instagram